Attachment Theory and Me pt. 1

 Attachment styles, what are they and how do they relate to me and my life.

There are four different types of attachment styles, I'll give small descriptions of them and how attachment styles form in someones life and how difficult they are. (I am in no ways therapist or have a degree this is all just from personal experiences) 

First things first, attachment styles develop during our early adolescent stages, they can form from absent parents emotionally and physically, from not seeing loving parents or healthy relationships and can cause mayhem in future relationships romantic and friendship.

1. Anxious attachment: People with anxious attachment style often feel insecure in relationships and fear abandonment. They may devalue themselves, overvalue their partner, and seek constant reassurance or contact (like frequent texting). When responses are delayed, they can become distressed or emotionally overwhelmed. People with anxious attachment with fear abandonment, and often require reassurance.

2. Avoidant attachment: People with avoidant attachment style crave connection but struggle with trust and fear rejection. They tend to avoid vulnerability, pull away when things get too close, and often pride themselves on being independent and emotionally detached in relationships. 

3. Disorganized attachment: People with disorganized attachment style want relationships but fear rejection and abandonment, often showing a push-pull dynamic — needing closeness one moment, then pulling away the next. They may leave before being left, and their behavior can be emotionally intense and unpredictable, making relationships feel confusing or unstable.

4. Secure attachment: People with a secure attachment style are comfortable with closeness, vulnerability, and emotional expression. They trust their partner, give both affection and space, and don’t panic when apart. Their relationships are based on mutual respect and interdependence, not neediness or avoidance.

Now that you know the 4 main attachment styles I'll go into more depth on how they relate to me, the struggles I go to on a daily basis and how much they effect my current relationships.

I grew up with an emotionally unavailable mother and an absent father so I never knew what the right view on healthy relationships were or how to cope in them. I was hurt by people older then me, and I deeply wanted to be loved by someone, anyone.

My first ever relationship I thought I was secure in it, he was the love of my life, my first for everything, I was with him for 4 years and I honestly thought we would have been married eventually. 

The first crack happened, when he stopped trying.